Douyin With The Sickness

~ Behind these Asian eyes ~

Every May I am once again tasked to ponder:

This year I am spending The Month exactly as I do every The Month, which is haha business as usual, but with the entitled smugness of those who use a “birthday month” as grounds to collect heads. It’s like saving your sick days for when you’re not sick. Every year I have to google what those letters mean and also why they are lumped together despite denoting vastly different nations in geography and also culture. And I get it. The idea behind it, I mean. But there is no peace to be found in four letters that will allow me to finally rest (not in a morbid way). I was completely content to simply (๑꒡ᴗ꒡๑) through May like this:

It’s giving (๑꒡ᴗ꒡๑)

Until! I started noticing more and more of That Eye Makeup all over Tiktok and my IG explore page, which is mostly comprised of Korean/Japanese hair salon posts, fat little round animals, home decor, and annoyingly hot couples content — and now that eye makeup. It’s like a cross between K-pop idol makeup and IRL anime. It is commonly depicted with one eye winked and the other wide open as if that is physically possible to do or just huge eyes looking at you like ◉‿◉. I have never been able to do a wink in a photo that doesn’t make me look like I’m mid-sneeze or having a stroke¹.